i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
