i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
