did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
