Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize