Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
