everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize