There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's blow job season.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
