I look better un-naked...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
