No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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