nut hugger
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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