Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
