did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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