I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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