i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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