he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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