you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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