everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
