You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
