Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
