I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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