that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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