But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
