she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
