That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
