Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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