so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize