maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
