no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize