is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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