Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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