it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
