The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
