Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
