Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I checked into jail on foursquare
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
