Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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