I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found the puke drawer
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
