i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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