We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
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She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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