next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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