I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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