and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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