I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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