My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
