her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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