I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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