i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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