He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
