textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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