Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Panties = found
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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