It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
