am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
