ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
