Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
