wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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