naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
