I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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