Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't tell me you're on acid again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize