Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
