next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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