OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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