Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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