he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
