my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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