The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
