so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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