Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
