tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
