Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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