She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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