Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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